When did you first come to Argentina?
That was well before I moved here. It was 1993 and I was in the textile business. My first day here was a Sunday and I spent the entire day in Recoleta cemetery. Because of my first three trips here, in ’93 and ’94, I thought Recoleta was Buenos Aires.
I was here for three days at a time on business so I went to Once neighbourhood, made some stops, but as I didn’t have the right contacts to make any sales and I didn’t have an agent to introduce me to wholesalers, I gave it a couple of shots and went back to where I normally did business.

Where did you stay?
It was very expensive to travel in those days and I had a deal with my partner, whose wife wouldn’t let him travel, that if I went to Rio or San Paulo or Buenos Aires that I wouldn’t stay in some motel or sit at the back of the plane for 12 hours.
So I stayed at what was the Hyatt then but is the Four Seasons now, I went to the recommended restaurants, and had a great parrilla. I’m not sure if any still exist but there was one, very high-scale place, that may have been on Quintana and Posadas, that I am sure is still there. I saw a few things, such as Plaza Francia, and the museums were lovely. Business was lousy, but the women were great…
I went for high tea at the Hyatt. I’d never been to high tea anywhere. I went and all these old ladies would go with their nurses. Professional dancers would come out and do a spin with their partners then their partners would break off and they’d take one of these 80-year-old ladies and take them for a whirl on the dancefloor. It was quite cute and a good selling point for the hotel.

Your wife is Argentine.
Yes, I met Martha in 1995 and we started coming twice a year on vacation. We had a nice life in New York. We‘d go to Martha’s Vineyard every summer, and I‘d started going there in 1972, and we went every summer, me with whoever I was with at the time, and ending up with Martha for the last five years for nine weeks.
But then we would come here for Christmas and New Year’s, and spend a month. We’d come down, probably over the Easter break too when my textile business would slow down. And as I got to know the city, I got to like it more and more. I’ve never liked the Upper East Side of New York, which Recoleta reminded me, and I would never have moved there. I still wouldn’t.
Then at the end of the nine-week vacation, we’d paid US$13,500 for a beautiful house overlooking the ocean. The next summer, we called the owner, and she wanted US$20,000 for July and US$30,000 for August. We said “no thank you” and have never been back although I do miss that as it was always a great vacation, but enough is enough.
And we saw the way life was spiralling in New York. We’d always lived, and I wouldn’t say large, but good: Metropolitan Opera seats, Rangers tickets, a box for the ballet, ate at all the fancy restaurants but it became impossible to do because of the cost. So we started talking about moving out of the country.

Argentina was an obvious choice…
Buenos Aires had just gone through the crisis. I said to Martha that it wasn’t always going to be this cheap but it is going to take a long time for it to be as expensive as New York is. I was tired of fighting the rat-race, working harder and doing less.
But Martha didn’t want to move here. She’s from here, remembered the hard times, the people who disappeared, and was brought up by the military government. After being in the US for 20 years, she was scared about being in such close proximity to her family.
But we worked around it and came down to see some properties and bought in 2005. The night we got here, five of her childhood friends took us out for dinner, and that changed everything. I think today she is thrilled to be here. She’s got friends galore and does more than she ever did without the pressure.

Where do you live?
Well, that was the second shock when I told her I wanted to move to San Telmo. She’s from Palermo and her friends tried to get her to talk me out of buying here. I was born in the Bronx and lived the last 20 years in TriBeCa before it became a fancy place. San Telmo is where I belong. Great people, lots of space and air.
We rented the house, which was built in 1909, out for two years and we’d come down twice a year with my tape measure to lay everything out. Everything but four pieces of furniture came from New York, including the bar which I picked up from the street.

Waiting to move in for two years must have been frustrating.
It was but I had agreed with Martha we would move in 2007. I had to have a knee replacement and one of my biggest worries about moving here was the state of the medical programmes.
I find every doctor I have here is at least equal, if not better, than the same doctor I had in New York. You get to be in your 70s and you accumulate a lot of doctors. They don’t beat around the bush as doctors here aren’t afraid of medical malpractice.
My medical group gives seniors the alternative of paying for the year up-front, so you don’t get any inflation increases, which can be up to 20 percent, and I basically pay for 11 months and get a 12-month policy. I don’t believe they make any money on me…

Do you go the whole hog and visit a psychologist?
I go to a guy, and I don’t know how much psychology we do, but I spend an hour with him every week and we discuss literature and theatre and basically it‘s two old guys sitting around talking, but for some reason I feel better after it.

Do you see any differences in BA?
The thing I like most about living here is the people. I get asked, “what’s wrong with the people in New York?” and I say nothing, but they don’t have the same manners. It’s hard to describe to people who haven’t been here, but there are small differences that make life much easier. I find the pressure to be about 10 percent of what it was in New York.

Do you still work?
Oh yes. I closed my textile business in 1998 and was going crazy. I’m healthy, I was an ultra-distance runner and to just sit around and have lunches every day — it wasn‘t enough. So I started working in a wine store, which was helpful as I was drinking too much as I waited for Martha to get home. We’d both get home at 9pm and drink less, and now I’m a wine agent for two bodegas here. I love wines from Spain above all, but a quarter of my cellar is filled with those two bodegas’ wine. I have no problem in finding something to drink!

What do you miss about the US?
An Israeli friend was staying recently who asked me that and I told him, “I don’t miss New York in a heart beat.” I have family, my son and daughter, friends, but that list goes down because, out of sight out of mind. Our lives don’t intersect any more.
I have more friends here as I do things with them. It was easy to meet people as Martha had an army of friends she went to school with, so they were my first friends, and that helped my Spanish.

How do spend your day?
I try to work out in the morning, water my plants, then make a few calls to the States about business. I take two voice training classes and work with my piano player twice a week, see my shrink for an hour and have lunch with one of the guys. I write, read, work on my music.

What does music mean to you?
It’s become a very important part of my life here. We do a show every two months, we’re up to 16 now, and we’re cutting a record next month.
I‘ve been singing since I was 13 years old and when we got down here, Martha started going to a bel canto coach as she teaches and always speaks very loudly. So I started going and she introduced me to a jazz pianist she thought I could sing with. So I called Adrián and we’ve been together ever since. Every one else in the band has changed, but he is the rock, he’s great.
I was very gratified with the state of jazz in Buenos Aires — it’s far more advanced than I thought it would be. The kids play very well. They are accomplished musicians and very serious students of the genre, and open to things I can teach them, even though I’m not a musician.
Both being retired and being in Argentina has allowed me to do this.

Published in the Buenos Aires Herald on January 22, 2012
Photo by Mariano Fuchila

When did you first come to Argentina?
I came here in January 2009 and basically I haven’t left. I’d been living in London for three years and I had an international marketing job, dealing with clients all around the world who could all speak five or six languages. I’d tried French once and was hopeless, and I’d learnt Japanese at school but I didn’t ever speak it . So I thought to myself, right you’re going to learn a language.
My sister had been in Peru so I thought I’d try Spanish. I did some courses but if you aren’t speaking it and living it, then it’s really hard. I’d go to one lesson for two hours, drop my homework on my colleague’s desk, as he was from Spain, and that was a dead giveaway, given that I didn’t speak a word.

What led to the move from London?
It was 2008 and the crash was looking likely, the markets were going down, so I thought 2009 would be the year. My ex boss was also from Argentina, so she talked about Buenos Aires a lot. There were all these signs so I bought a ticket, and told my sister I was going. She was really surprised as I’d never been to South America, or even North America, as I was all about Europe.
So I booked seven days in a hostel and a three-day Spanish course, I didn’t know anyone and I hardly knew any Spanish.

Where did you stay?
I rocked up to Palermo, met some people and did the course, and then I went to a wine-tasting. I met an American guy and told him how I really wanted to learn Spanish and his advice was to leave Buenos Aires, as I’d speak too much English. He told me about a teaching programme out in some tiny pueblos. I looked it up, met the lady and within two weeks I was getting lessons on how to teach English to Argentine kids, and was sent to Vicuña Mackenna, a town of 10,000, in the south of Córdoba province.
So I rocked up there and wondered what I was doing, as it was all about teaching English to primary age kids in a state school, living with a family. The whole experience was about getting to know Argentina and obviously learning Spanish.
It was a roller-coaster ride as my family didn’t speak a word of English. All I could tell them was my name and some numbers.

How did communication work out?
I’d have my dictionary on me and would gesticulate for them to “wait” while I looked up word. It was hell for them, and for me! I also had the stress of dealing with teaching and I had 70 kids and a class of 15 six-year-olds and it was their first time learning English, so it was hard for them too! They’d just look at me…
I used to have Spanish classes in the morning then in the afternoon I’d speak English then at night I’d speak Spanish again with the family. Well, try to speak…
My head was ready to pop. I’d never felt such an intensity before and I actually went and bought memory pills! The pharmacy thought I was mad, so there I was popping these pills, not knowing whether they were working or not. My teacher thought I was hilarious, but I said to her “I have to do something!”
The hardest thing was the fact that the kids had such different levels, from absolutely nothing to kids who were able to travel to the US and could say a few things.

How long were you in Mackenna for?
I spent four months teaching there and it was great. The experience was incredible. For me it was all about the people who made it for me, and if it wasn’t for them I might not still be here.
Although there were other teachers in the same situation as me, the nearest one was in another little town two hours away so we’d speak on the phone a lot, just to talk.
I was the only foreigner in this town so of course, I was always asked a lot of questions and my family became famous because everyone wanted to know who was staying with them.

What was the town like?
Lots of dirt roads, but there are contrasts as the area is wealthy because it’s the campo, but you’d also see tiny little houses with kids living with their grandmas.
As the school was a state one, we had the bare minimum. There wasn’t any heating in the classroom so in winter we’d all come in in ski jackets!

What surprised you the most?
Being able to get through the experience and have fun while I did it. My biggest thing was to learn a language and I knew it would be hard. It was also amazing to watch how such young kids could learn, to hear their pronunciation. And how the people could take me in and accept me, living in this tiny little town in the middle of Argentina. Being in London was all about money, you had to have the right handbag and the right technology, while in Mackenna it was all about a Sunday asado or drinking mate.
The times also mucked me up. I’d get home from school thinking “where’s the food?” and would drink mate like there’s no tomorrow to try and get me through!

Were there many house rules?
No, my family were brilliant. I don’t eat red meat so that was really hard for them as that is pretty much all they eat. “My mum” let me cook, which was great, as I told her that I need to eat fruit, and veggies, so I’d buy the weirdest stuff to them: cous cous, quinoa, avocado. They though I was crazy as I’d travel to Córdoba city to buy those things. I had to explain what sushi was as they had no idea, and once I made nachos, which the kids went wild for.
I do eat white meat so “my mum” would cook that for me, and she also started cooking vegetarian dishes, which was amazing as the family started to change too. “My dad” had some tests and it turned out he had high cholesterol and he could see what I was doing so they all started to eat more salads, veggies. I know it was a lot more expensive for the family so I’d help out, and also cook every now and then.
I also made pancakes one time, so for the little boy’s birthday I made 14 and towered them up with dulce de leche and chocolate, and he loved it!

What happened when you left Mackenna?
We had a big Australia day at school. My mum went mad on packaging and had been sending me postcards and temporary tattoos on a weekly basis, and toy koalas and blow-up kangaroos. One time I even decorated the classroom with leaves from eucalyptus trees. Of course, the kids put the tattoos all over them, and those tattoos then got banned from school.
The kids were amazing. When it was my birthday, they all made me cakes and lit some candles. Of course, we set the fire alarms off so now candles have been banned from school too…

Do you go back to Mackenna?
I returned in December for my “little sister’s” communion and I go every few months. My parents visited last year and we had a big New Year’s party there.

Why did you decide to return to BA?
Everything was very mañana in Mackenna. I’d spend the day going from one friend’s house to another drinking mate, and I realized I needed to break away from that. I went to work on an organic farm in Mendoza for eight days in this hick little town, planting strawberries. It absolutely killed me! I returned to Mackenna for two weeks to help a family practise their English and told them I needed to get back into marketing. They said the only place for that was in Buenos Aires.

The food aficionado within
Once she had decided to return to the bright lights of Buenos Aires, Australian Anne Reynolds got back into the swing of living in the city quickly. Finding employment with relative ease, she struck lucky given that the company helped her out with the all-important DNI paperwork, and Reynolds soon found that it was becoming harder to leave Argentina.
After meeting Marina Ponzi, who runs Ladies Brunch Buenos Aires, the two food-passionate women decided to set up a gastronomical tour with a difference, a business venture which is proving successful and adding to Reynolds’ reasons to remain in the capital.
Nestling among the puertas cerradas closed-door restaurants and wine-tasting tours is
Fuudis, which takes hungry diners to three distinctive restaurants in a particular neighbourhood, for a starter, main course and dessert.
“We wanted an Argentine audience for this project, as we knew it could be up-and-down market if it was just aimed at foreigners. We have tours in San Telmo, Palermo Hollywood, Palermo Chico and Recoleta at the moment, as well as themed dinners, and a group of about 20 people get together each week to try out three restaurants. We had no idea how it would work out, but people really seem to love it,” she says.
Attempting to steer away from the well-known eateries, Reynolds says: “We don‘t just to go the ones which are in guide books or have big names. We’ve been really lucky to hook up with some great owners, for example, there’s one enthusiastic Italian who tries to load us down with food, and we always have to tell him not to prepare too much as we have to move on to the next place! We also let the chefs or owners talk about the meal or wine, which people like.
“We had originally thought we’d have to do a lot of talking to get people to mingle, but on the very first night we had a mixture of Argentines and foreigners, couples, bank managers, architects — and everyone talked to each other — they all wanted to carry onto another bar, and even shared taxis home!” she says.
Other alternative tours run by expats include visits to the most prominent Jewish buildings and areas in the city conducted by Texan Chance Miller from BAlocal; Yorkshire lass Sophie Lloyd, who tailor-makes shopping tours for the fashion-hungry; and the well-established Graffitimundo tour, run by Marina Charles, which takes art aficionados on an ever-changing tour of Buenos Aires street art in Colegiales and Palermo neighbourhoods.

Photo by Mariano Fuchila.
Published in the Buenos Aires Herald on January 15, 2012.

When did you first visit Argentina?
I first came here in February 1997 on a long-distance coach from Asunción in Paraguay and was on my way to Uruguay. I was going to spend my year abroad on Montevideo but on my second day in Buenos Aires, I met my future first wife, who was going out with an Italian.
I got very drunk on a cheap bottle of whisky which cost me three pesos, and she gave me her address which I hid in the back of a book and didn’t find for the next two months. When I did find it I wrote to her, she replied and we met again in July 1997, snogged, then I continued at university.

Where did you live then?
There were two hostels in Buenos Aires then: one in Constitución, which was rumoured to be for prostitutes so everyone went to a place called El Aguila in La Paternal neighbourhood.

Did you have a plan with regard to Montevideo?
Oh, yes I had a place at the Universidad de la República and I was going to study Uruguayan history and Latin American literature. But all the classes started at 7pm and went on until 11pm which was far too demanding, so I turned up for a couple of Italian classes with an old Italian woman, and spent the rest of my time sitting around the house drinking cheap gin, smoking and playing darts and watching bad films on cable with my English friend. As they say, “education is wasted on the young.” That was my year abroad.

What happened with your first wife?
I came back for her in Buenos Aires, my other mistress, in January 1999. I’d graduated and worked for seven months getting some money together. When I got to Buenos Aires, it was summer and hot, and I put on a suit and tie, thinking that was what I had to do here, and went looking for teaching jobs without having any qualifications. After a month of sweating, the final place I went to was the William Blake Institute in Barrio Norte. They took me on, trained me — and four years later, closed down… But it was 2002 and everything was closing down then.

How did long-distance love work out for you at that time?
It was all by letter. We wrote three or four letters a week to each other, replying to ones that had arrived two weeks earlier. We knew that email existed but we didn’t really know how to do it. I was working for IBM at the time and even so, I still didn’t really know as we weren’t allowed to use Internet at work and I thought Yahoo was the Internet.
I came here for a year to see what happened and we went to Eastern Europe that winter. In Bucharest we got mugged by the taxi mafia, and were nearly killed. Well, we didn’t, but it felt ropey. So I gave them five pounds and they went away but I thought “she could have been killed there. All those letters would have gone to waste.” So I proposed to her in Krakow as she had Polish grandparents, then it turned out they were actually from the Ukraine.

When did you get married?
We planned to marry in 2001, but as I was going through the DNI trámite we found out it was easier to get documents if I was married. So I kind of did it for the papers, but obviously also for love. Then five years passed… and we split.

What happened after the language school closed?
I became a private teacher and also started working for the Japanese school in Belgrano, which is part of the embassy. Then I became a translator in 2003. I also write, so after I got divorced I had lots of material. My first novel was a shrinking one, as the first chapter was 101 words long, until the final chapter was just word. That wasn’t very good, actually and was more of a novela.
My second book was about divorces, mine and my mum’s. My ex-wife was very pleased with it and said “go ahead and publish it,” while my mum said “Publish this and I’ll sue you.” She never got as far as the end, which is when it got better…
Then I got a job with a production company doing voice-overs for the the new Simpsons. I worked on that for a year-and-a-half then it was axed because of the European financial crisis. I then wrote another novel about a filmmaker who finds Brian May (of the band Queen) in his wardrobe.

Which trámite was harder to process, your DNI or your divorce?
Oh, the divorce was quite easy… and her stepdad was a lawyer so he was able to pull strings and it cost me 100 pesos. It was quite painless compared to the DNI, which needed documents and money. It was something I wanted, but not something Argentina wanted to give me.

Where did you live during your first marriage?
In Palermo Viejo, on Cabrera and Serrano. I still drink at Bangalore, and I like the fact the pavements are now wider. But it’s a bit like Oasis and their first album — I started to hate them in 1997 by the time everyone else liked them. It was like that with Palermo. You feel incredibly cool, then everyone else starts going to your cool place…
I like living in Belgrano too, as there are fishmongers and hardware shops. I’m one block from Belgrano R station, which means I’m one block from being posh.

What is your official job these days?
I’m doing some scriptwriting for MTV but I’m also riding all the buses in Buenos Aires for a project called Colectivaizeishon. I read a book by A. J. Jacobs called The Know-It-All in which he reads all the Encyclopedia Britannicas in a year, so I decided to set myself a similar sort of challenge which seemed a bit pointless but I could enjoy. I used to be a train spotter, which is like being an alcoholic as it stays with you, so it would have been nice to do a train version.
I’ve lived here for 12 years and know Palermo, Barrio Norte and Belgrano well but didn’t know anything crossing over Rivadavia Avenue, so I thought it would be a fun way to do it.

Do you start at the beginning?
Yes, at the start of the line, often in Saavedra or Belgrano. Buses often go from there to Constitución, and then I go on to somewhere else — often Retiro — then maybe somewhere in the west, then back home.

Any other plans for bus project?
I’m planning to make a documentary about the buses. But I don’t want to film people on the bus so I need to invent some spy glasses.

Do buses ascend consistently?
There is a 1, 2 then 4. There isn’t a 3. Lots of buses have stopped — they go from 1 to 195 — and there are only 141. So 54 are missing, and some have been taken over by other companies. They were originally based on tram lines, as buses started up in competition with the trams.
I like to write a bit of history about each bus, for example, the 151 goes past Bangalore which is where I met Josefina, my second wife.

Which is your favourite bus?
It’s the one I used to take when I lived in Barrio Norte, the 39, and it goes down the guitar street, Talcahuano.

If you were acting President Amado Boudou, what would you do?
I’d bring back trams. Cristina would have the surprise of her life when she got back to Buenos Aires as there wouldn’t be any public transport, just trams and horses. Actually, maybe not horses, you know what they are like with dog shit here. But definitely trams. I’d also demolish the port and put it somewhere where nobody goes, like La Plata, and make a nice clean beach.

…Then three come along
Everyone has a favourite bus in Buenos Aires — in fact, I have a few in particular, including the 59 for extreme frequency, the 140 for speed and air conditioning, and the 39, versions one and three, which leave me outside my front door — but writer Daniel Tunnard has taken this a step further.
Once a week, he takes a cluster of buses for his Colectivaizeishon column which appears (in Spanish) in La Razón newspaper each week.
One revelation he has found, having taken his 56th bus out of 141 in the City of Buenos Aires this past week, is that colectivos travel through villas.
“I was surprised that there are buses that go through shantytowns — the 23 and the 26 — which go through San Lorenzo in Bajo Flores. The 26 actually stops in the villa and you have to get off and walk a block to get back on it. There are two security guards there, watching everything.
“I always thought shantytowns were completely no-go areas, when really they are fairly accessible. Taking the long-distance bus from Retiro, you can see the Villa 31 is right there — but you wouldn’t know how much you can walk down into before someone robbed you or beat you up… I’m tempted.
“I think you need to walk into a villa with your head held high, as if you belong there. And probably without a camera.”
Tunnard’s most recent posting is entitled: “The 136 – Random observations from a really boring bus” — read on for an excerpt.
“I have a schedule with the order I’m supposed to be taking the 141 bus routes in Buenos Aires, which is available for your relaxed perusal on my blog. This monument to my own obsessive-compulsive disorder took me four days with my head in the Guía T and various websites, and I managed to undo a good part of my geeky work on only the fourth day of Colectivaizeishon when I took the wrong bus and had to reshuffle the whole damn programme. After that slip-up, I am resolved to follow the rest of the schedule to the letter. But I’m standing at the 163 bus stop for 20 minutes in Liniers and the 163 just ain’t coming. What if the 163 doesn’t exist anymore? Do I stand here for all eternity, renowned as “the Brit who tried to take all the buses in Buenos Aires but got stuck waiting for ever for the 163 that never came”? Not much of a title for a book. I give up and take the 136, which does the same route, is the same colour and practically the same number as the 163, if you’re colour-blind and dyslexic. As soon as I get on the 136, two 163s whiz past.”

Published in the Buenos Aires Herald on January 8, 2012.
Photo by Mariano Fuchila.

Renowned for its fantastic acoustics, the Teatro Colón is one of Buenos Aires’ most important edifices, historically and aesthetically. The 1908 construction of this neo-Renaissance grande-dame was in the hands of three men over 20 years: Francesco Tamburini, who died mid-project; his pupil Vittorio Meano; and the Belgian-born Jules Dormal.

The influence of Dormal, who completed work on this vast 8,200m2 opera house, is most prominent thanks to his use of French neoclassicism in the decoration, but the Colón also incorporates Italian and German techniques, the latter obvious through its solid marble and iron construction. The entrance hall, for example, uses various styles: red-marble columns imported from Verona covered in stucco imitate the Botticino look, while its vitraux ceiling was undertaken by Gaudin of Paris.

For the rest of this article from Qatar Airlines Oryx in-flight magazine, please click here .

Back in BA, the dog days can be cruel, with the heat sizzling so ferociously you could sear a steak on hot air alone. Temperatures effortlessly reach 40C to make headline news and it seems like even the walls break out into a sweat.

Although innocent faces fall when they realise their best dipping option is in the River Plate (often described as murky but for the purpose of this article, let’s call it coconut oil-coloured), Buenos Aires does push the boat out in summer – and not just by turning the fountains on.

However, all this talk of lifting a finger only to break out into a sweat is one thing but by mid-February, downpours and flash-flooding become the latest headlines in an otherwise dry summer.

To add insult to injury, even when giant drops are falling on your head, the incandescence refuses to ease up for a single muggy moment. So to help you with BA’s unforgiving summer, here are Time Out’s top tips on how to keep cool and dry.

For the rest of this article, please check out Time Out Insider’s Guide Spring/Summer 2011/12, available from all good news-stands.

Shane Wall
Born: Redwood City, US
Age: 9
Likes: Digging for bugs

Do you remember your first day in Argentina?
Aidan: On my first day we got to the airport and I remember we were trying out the Argentine food. We took a taxi to our home and the taxi driver mentioned that Argentina was playing an international soccer game that night. So my dad tried to get us tickets to go. We ended up going to an Argentina game, they were playing Chile and won 4-1, and we had a really good time.
Shane: Me and my mom went to the house and we checked everything out. Then we went to a little bakery with Aidan and dad. I was really tired as we had been a day and a little bit on a plane.

How did you feel the day before you left the US?
A: I thought, “oh no I have to go to a foreign country, and have to make new friends, and meet new people, and leave behind all the friends and family I had behind.” Once I got here, it seemed better than I had thought it would be.

Was your biggest worry leaving your friends?
A: Yes, because I could already speak some Spanish. So that wasn’t my problem as my dad had told me that most of the schools were bilingual and that they would be able to understand me if I messed up.

What did you think when your parents said you were moving here?
A: They brought it up a few times, like do you want to go travelling to South America for six months? But I thought it probably wouldn’t happen. Then they told us a few months a go and said “well guys, what do you think about this?” In my head, I was thinking “you’re joking.” I didn’t really want to go as I was happy in school but now I think it was good.

Did you have a leaving party?
A: Sort of. In the middle of the summer we went swimming and had all our friends over. We said goodbye to everyone then, but that was before school started. When it was my last day of school, they all did everything really special for me.

What was the first day of a new school like?
S: It was really scary but the teacher guided me through the stuff. It was scary because I didn’t know anyone there.
A: All the kids were breaking down the doors to see me as they all wanted to test out their English on me. After a few weeks, they learned that I could speak castellano, so it all died down and we started speaking in Spanish. I thought it was better when we spoke in Spanish so that I could improve.

What are the differences between your schools?
A: It’s a lot smaller here. And it goes on for a lot longer. In the US we have school until 2.30pm but here we go until almost 5pm. I prefer school here even though it’s longer as we do more fun things here.
S: We’d have quite a few schools really near each other and there’s one school right next to ours with the same amount of pupils. There’s 16 students in my class. We do mathematics, and something called catequesis. I don’t know what that means. It’s like this book with a lot of stuff in it, but I never had a book. Somebody let me borrow his book, and it had all of the subjects in it, in different chapters. It had everything.

What are your best subjects?
A: In San Francisco, it was history, but here it’s English! I’m pretty much top of the class. I got excellent and very good or more in my tests.
I went to Spanish classes with a Mexican woman as my mom had already prepared me for it. She was very nice and lived a few minutes from my house. My brother went about five times, and I went for a few months.
S: I’m not very good at writing as I can’t spell the words correctly in English. My favourite subject is maths.

What are the differences you’ve experienced?
A: What’s been different for me is the Spanish. I was expecting that I’d have a very difficult time understanding what they say. At first I couldn’t speak at all and now I can speak it fluently. At first when I’d say something wrong the kids would always correct me.
S: It’s soccer for me. They use bad language when they play. If someone destroys your soccer game, kicking the ball, they use bad language. Like boludo. If we do that in San Francisco, then we get into trouble.

Who do you support?
A: I support Boca. In the Untied States I’d heard of Boca before, and here I realized that it’s so huge here, Boca versus River, and there’s always huge rivalries. Most of the kids from my school are River so I decided that I’m different and I know about Boca from before, so why not be from Boca? In my grade of 37 there are five of who support Boca.
S: They think we’re cooler.

What kind of food do you like here?
S: I like medialunas, and Rocklets and French fries, but I don’t like dulce de leche. One time, we went to an allergy place, and one of the shots said milk. So I don’t drink milk, and I don’t like some stuff that’s really milky. And they told me dulce de leche is really milky. I’m a tiny bit allergic to it. I like pork with apple sauce but they don’t have it much here.
A: I like the meat here but here you have to ask for it to be undercooked otherwise they’ll burn it. As they like it different here. I like bondiola with papas fritas. My second favourite is milanesa. They don’t have it in the United States, because I don’t think they’d like it too much. I like chicken as my grandma always made chicken stuff for me, and milanesa has breaded stuff on the outside.

Where do you live?
S: In America it’s only us in our house but here in our apartment people can come to our door. It’s a lot noisier with all the windows open so you can all hear all the dogs and all the people shouting.
A: A lot of people have a city house and one in the country where they go all summer, and have a pool and lots of activities, and do sports. People don’t work here in the summer. I prefer to live in a house but I prefer the city where you’re always going out.

What are your summer plans?
A: We’re going to be travelling around so I expect to see a lot of beautiful cities and landmarks. We’re going to Iguazú, Rio de Janeiro and Salta. I expect to see lots of countryside and old-fashioned towns.

Are you looking forward to leaving the city?
S&A: No!
A: I prefer the urban with all the noise and I just like the city.
S: It’s too noisy though and I can’t sleep. There’s cars, and dogs barking.

How do you keep in touch with your friends?
A: Through Skype. We videochat with them online. We also do a blog and all the kids back home look at it. It has pictures and we write about what we are doing here. We usually update it once every two weeks. My teachers back there show it to the kids.

What will you miss about Argentina when you leave, apart from friends you’ve made?
A: I’ll definitely miss the diet. I love how they eat. They have snacks and I especially like all the meat they eat. They don’t have as many sauces and vegetables. It’s plain stuff and that’s what I like.
S: Yeah, my dad tries to make all fancy stuff with Italian sauces which are gross. I’ll miss the kioscos, because they have them in every block. I ask my parents for my allowance to spend it there. In America we get two dollars but here we get 10 pesos.

End-of-term report card
Magdalena Ortiz de Ries Centeno, general director of Colegio Río de la Plata where Shane and Aidan Wall have studied for the past two months, talked to the Herald about the brothers and give the bilingual school’s take on educating them briefly.
She says: “We are used to taking on foreign students. Groups of families send their children to us, often because the Ministry of Education or embassies have recommended us so that they can continue learning English. We are used to people from Brazil, the US and sometimes from England.
“Generally they come and stay for one or two years and become like our students. In the boys’ case it is different as they were just here for two months.
“What has been interesting is that they have been really interested in knowing us and getting to know the culture. That meant the two boys were really happy to be here. We also tell our pupils to be open-minded and so it was fun to see us speaking in English and the boys speaking in Spanish.
“Our philosophy is to be open-minded and most of our books are American. Our library is filled with English books and I travel at least once a year to learn things from other countries. Perhaps what this family noticed, and felt comfortable with was the way we interacted with them for these reasons, plus we are a small school.
“They took part in everything, sports, parents’ meetings, gym, the concerts and they felt. like they were students for years.”
After spending time with the siblings, one topic of conversation I personally noted was how they missed their friends in the US, so how did they adapt to the new school?
Ortiz de Ries Centeno says: “They had no problems. In general, adults have more problems adapting than children. In general students don‘t. We’ve had students who didn’t speak a word of Spanish or English in secondary school. We’ve also had a Chinese student who went to her Chinese school on Saturdays, and it was a great experience for all of us.
“These boys are especially friendly and I realized in the first interview that they wanted to stay that same day. The following day, they had bought the uniform, a pencil-box and were ready to start school. That was a bit unusual as they were very comfortable. In fact, once or twice we had to call in their parents for an interview as they were too confident! At the end of the day it was a way of gaining acceptance within their peers, proving they were spirited and not shy.”

Published in the Buenos Aires Herald on December 18, 2011
Photo by Mariano Fuchila

How did you meet your Argentine wife?
I came here about eight years ago to visit my twin sister who has lived in Argentina for more than 15 years. She invited me to spend two weeks in San Isidro and I agreed, as I had been sick in Montreal, and it was going to give me a chance to relax.

Why had she moved here?
Her husband was working for a big printing company and he opened branches in Brazil, Argentina, Colombia and Mexico.
So I came to visit my sister and one night, she organized a cocktail party and that is where I met Grace. The moment we met each other we fell in love, and at first we were happy to just spend the two weeks together and she showed me around Buenos Aires.
But after that, I returned to my normal life but things weren’t the same! And with time, we got back in touch, and seeing each other despite the distance. I then got divorced, and decided to come and live here.

Do you remember meeting her?
My sister came to tell me that Grace had arrived and I was sitting in the living room watching TV. I got up and something magical had already happened in the doorway. A few days later, she asked me if I wanted to visit La Boca, and other things and she made it very charming. We went to Palermo, to all these places I never thought I’d visit. Everything started from there.

So you returned to Canada with a heavy heart.
We agreed it had been a summer of love, but when I got back to Canada, I was a candidate to join the SWAT team and was about to start training. My mind wasn’t on Argentina at that moment as it was winter, I had training, and so many things to do. But then I had some time to live some emotion.

Was it easy to move here?
It would have been harder for Grace to move to Canada as she has three children, but for me, I didn’t think twice about it, even three times. I thought “I’m young and what do I have to lose?” I also had a project and somebody to support me every day so I thought, let’s make the jump and see what happens. You only have one life, and I did it, and I don‘t regret it.

Did you have to adjust?
I had to adjust myself to the culture, and still today I can find it difficult. In my country, for example, if the speed limit is 60, it isn’t 61. Once, the traffic light was red, a bus was blocking the road and I had to wait for the lights to change twice. Those things are difficult but the country is amazing, and the people help me and greet me with a big hug.

What do you do?
As I was moving here, I had to think of a work project and my wife had told me about the crime problem. I used to be a SWAT officer in Canada so I decided to open a company with a bunch of guys with different areas of expertise. Mine is crowd control, for example. We had a great combination to offer security, but it didn’t work out and I felt let down as I had left my country. So I sat down with my wife. She suggested a Canadian product she liked. In Canada people have three obsessions: their teeth, drinking water and the little bottles so we can clean our hands. I was reluctant but I didn’t have many choices, so I went for it and started a hand sanitizer company, Pure Touch.

How did that work out?
It took years while I made soaps and tried to get certification, and in the beginning I did market research myself by going to malls at weekends, and going up to people and finding out their impression on fragrances and bottle types. But when swine flu was prevalent here a few years ago, that is when we really took off.

What is your most Argentine characteristic?
Not to trust that much! And to read paperwork not once, not twice but three times. And I’ve also learned to share the good times.
And business-wise I have learned to be patient. Argentines like to talk a lot and sometimes you might leave a meeting without getting an answer.
I’ve also learned to love Argentine wine! I love Malbec. I like Trumpeter and I’ve also had the chance to drink some Rutini.

Where do you live?
In San Isidro. It’s quiet at weekends but is a place whose population has doubled in the past 10 years. There are a lot of cars and it’s very small, so there are times when it is hard to drive, and even for people to walk. Even if I had a choice to live somewhere else, I’d still live here although I’d probably like to have a small farm near Luján, a weekend place.
I always dreamed about having banana trees and we have about 20 of them in the garden so I take care of them.

How did you learn Spanish?
Well, Grace speaks English although she said I should learn Spanish. I didn’t have a choice when I was meeting business people, and I needed help. I’ve taken some courses, but then it got to the point when my friends said they wouldn’t speak English to me anymore. But in a way that helped as I was quite reluctant to learn. I now consider myself to be at an intermediate level.

What do you miss about Canada apart from your family?
The action I was living before. I used to wake up and go to work. You know where you are going but never know where you will come out. Every day is different. I haven’t lived that kind of life for eight years, but the action, the duty — I could write a book. I don’t remember living a similar day ever and that was the fuel for me.
I have a 15-year-old daughter and she wants to come to Argentina. She is starting to talk about coming here for two or three months. She gets on with my wife and I visit her three or four times a year as it is important to keep in contact. Last time I went, I stayed there for three months, so I spend time with my daughter, pick her up from school and help her with homework.

What differences do you see between the two countries?
If you ask for a coffee in Montreal, the sugar and coffee is brought to you. That’s it. Here, they greet you, the coffee comes with sugar, orange juice, milk, it’s like a celebration.
I love the heat here. But I used to find my body would react to the change in seasons in November. My body clock would tell me I should feel cold. I didn’t feel sick or go up the walls but my body did wonder why I was sweating so much!

Do you see your twin sister a lot?
Not as much as I’d like. But we see each other — we are both busy and she is a very busy woman. But I am godfather to her kid.
I always ask myself, if my sister had gone to Japan, would I be in Japan right now? Would I be being interviewed by a Japanese journalist? Then I think, I have enough problems speaking Spanish, imagine speaking Japanese!

‘Why would they smash up their club?’
A series of fortunate events brought François Marchand, a former police officer from Montreal to Argentina and convinced him to stay: first, his twin sister moved here, then when he finally visited she threw a drinks party in his honour, where he met his current wife. Now, he runs his own business, a hand sanitizer company, and his life has taken a real about-turn.
The former SWAT team member says he never had two days the same when he went to work. In fact, apart from his family and friends in Canada, he says that his former professional life is what he misses the most.
“I used to wake up and go to work. But the difference was that you know where you are going but never know where you will come out,” he tells the Herald.
One of the most serious events he had to deal with involved a terrorist. “One day we had intervene with an Al-Qaeda member in a maximum security prison. He was a bomb-maker, a very sophisticated guy. It took about two hours before we could get in and restrain the guy, as we didn‘t know what kind of stuff he had been playing with — it could have been very
powerful.
“I had a lot of time to think in that situation. In a hostage situation, for example, everything goes by very fast and five minutes seems like a long time. But imagine two hours. That’s a lot of time to talk to the guy, see how he answers — the way people answer means that we can create a profile about them. Every question is an answer for us. That guy was very calm and we had to take him very
seriously.”
Although his efforts to use his own experience and set up a security firm failed to fruition, once a police officer, always a police officer. Marchand often notes differences between Canadian and Argentine police.
“Sometimes I might see a police officer walking down the street with their equipment put on the wrong way. There are international norms to be met, as if you are in a line with other cops, everything is going to get mixed up, and be chaotic.
What happened at River stadium, when they lost, what kind of planning did the police have in place? There were 65,000 people in that stadium, and you know that if they lose, it’s a time bomb. There are humble people with their stores located nearby and they got robbed, and everything was smashed up.
I was really surprised when River broke everything. It’s your club, why would you want to do that?”

Published in the Buenos Aires Herald on December 11, 2011
Photo by Mariano Fuchila

When did you first visit Argentina?
I came here on holiday with an Argentine friend five years ago. I was interested in South America and had always wondered whether other Southern Hemisphere countries have the same disjointed feeling as we do from the north.
When I came to Buenos Aires, obviously it looks very Parisian and all that, but in some ways because of the light, it feels like other Southern Hemisphere countries. It was familiar, which was very inviting.

How long were you here for?
Then, it was for 10 days and I came back the following year for three months, and I kept returning every six months. We came here and started doing some work for MTV, as we’d presented our design portfolio and immediately got work to do for them. That meant we started a company in order to get more work.

You were busy those first 10 days…
Although we were here on holiday, we’d shown our portfolio as I knew the head of MTV’s creative office. So I thought I’d make a connection and see what happened. From there it just grew, so I then had to come back, see them, then set up a company.
I was staying in a very small hotel in Recoleta, which was nice and a bit like a family looking after me as it didn’t have a big hotel vibe. It was very nice as it was very central although it was quite touristy.

You returned six months on and have been coming and going since.
Yes, this time round, I went back for two months and am now here for nine months, the longest period. As the whole Argentine way of doing business means becoming friends with them before you start doing business, I started spending time with clients and getting to know people. I knew I had to do that as it was advice from other Argentines!

Did you return to Recoleta?
Yes, I kept that as my space, and because I knew it, I knew how to get around from there. Once I stayed in Palermo but I found it too dislocating, so I went back to Recoleta.

As you come and go, is it easy to make friends?
Yes, in some ways, as we hold a festival in South Africa so we have taken a lot of designers from Argentina there. And when you do something like that, you get to know people well and that turned into a group of friends which I can move in between. If people know you are here for a short time, they make an effort to spend time with you, but if they know you’re here for a long period, they might not want to do that. So in some ways it is a positive to have people know that you are going. And in South Africa it’s the opposite so it’s nice to get a break!

Do you feel integrated?
I do. I feel as at home as I do in South Africa. I have a few strong friendships with people who are my best friends whether I’m here or there.

What can the two countries take from each other?
Let’s take the education system, for instance. In South Africa, obviously we have poverty and the issue of how you develop people to take them out of that. The education system here, in an amazing way, has innovated people instantly and that is applicable to South Africa. We need institutions where you educate people en masse. And education is not elitist. In South Africa, it is.
But on the opposite side, something that is very clear in South Africa is the mix. If you’re good at something people will mix with you, yet here it’s all about class and not necessarily how good you are. That is something I think Argentina can look at, at how people can overcome classism completely, by looking purely at brilliance. That is something here for me that is quite problematic.

What do you miss about South Africa?
Clear air! As it’s quite polluted here. Cape Town has very clear skies.

And from Argentina?
The food. I miss the unpretentious restaurants. In Cape Town all the restaurants are pretentious and I love the bodegones here. It’s so easy to eat normally here. There’s a little parrilla right next to my house on Alvear and Montevideo. It’s really small, and all the locals go there.

How easy has it been setting up a business here?
It’s been difficult. Obviously there is a lot of bureaucracy which we aren’t used to and it was difficult to find a local partner. First we got the wrong partner… then we had to get out of that and get a new partner… but now it’s all good. It’s also a learning curve.
People always warn you that you have to have a good sense of “screening”, when it comes to people. I have no sense of that at all and I can’t differentiate between people as I haven’t been here long enough. So you need people who can help you with that kind of thing and obviously we learnt that the hard way, by having the wrong person at first!

And the shop opens in two days.
I don’t want to count my chickens but yes! We have a similar concept in South Africa so we are reapplying it here. Our workspace is above our shop and the latter is a way to interact with the public. It’s important that people can access us without having to set up a meeting, that they can come into the shop, see some stuff, then start speaking to you. There’s also the instant idea of seeing how people are reacting immediately you put something on a shelf. We’ll be selling an amalgamation of stuff we find cool from South Africa, here and from Brazil.

What have you found in Argentina?
There’s a few designers making interesting stuff, like Federico Lamas who is doing amazing drawings.

Does Argentina inspire your work?
Definitely. There’s such a rich history here — look at the architecture — and most of the things that existed 50 years still exist. Shopping malls have killed that in South Africa. You still have access to old craftsmanship here and that is inspiring.

Have you travelled much?
To Calafate, Comodoro Rivadavia, Bariloche, Córdoba and up north. Comodoro was interesting. It’s not the most beautiful place, in fact it’s incredibly ugly, but the city was founded by South Africans so there is a strong connection. Almost all the surnames are Afrikaans surnames, and some people still speak it. That was incredible for me to meet these people and speak to them in my language. It was so absurd, and also really odd, very pure, like Dutch, and they used a lot of old-school words. They love it when South Africans visit. Everyone calls their friends up and says “Oh, you must meet so-and-so” and everyone comes.

Any lost-in-translation moments?
I’ve stopped going to school as I can’t learn a language that way. I’d rather have a personal trainer who doesn’t speak English so I spend at least two hours, three times a week, having some kind of Spanish lesson with them. I try to double on my money!
And I’m not sure if this is lost in translation, but spas in BA… you think you’re going for a massage and it’s the complete opposite as they are mainly gay spas…

What do you do in your spare time?
I try to get out of the city so I’ll take a bus as they are so amazing to travel on. You can get on a bus on Friday night and arrive in a new place on Saturday and spend the weekend there. It’s refreshing to get out, as Buenos Aires can keep you here.

What’s your most Argentine characteristic?
Being personal with people, whether it’s business or not. I’m finding that interesting, finding more out about people before going anywhere else. People would think that is strange in South Africa.

After this week’s taxi fare hikes, will you take one ever again?
I try not to as I like to walk or take the bus. One driver was on the PanAmerican motorway and he ran out of petrol. I had to wait three hours in the taxi for him to come back.

South: it’s the new north
Dividing his life between two Southern Hemisphere countries for the past five years, Peet Pienaar is low profile despite what having what could been seen as a jetset lifestyle, putting together projects for MTV and setting up design and art festivals.
Hands on with his business, he has been busy cutting out hundreds of leaves from different types of paper, to decorate his company’s second store which launches this week, an interior which is set to change on a three-monthly basis once it opens.
Although it may sound simplistic, those leaves are likely to have a greater meaning to them, given that the man creating this nature scenario inside the shop was named one of 20 reasons to be in South Africa by the influential international magazine Wallpaper* last month.
What is interesting about Pienaar is the intrigue he maintains about the links between his birth country and his adopted home.
He says: “For us, there is much more connection between south-south, rather than south-north, because of the temperatures, the seasons, the ex-colonial history and the developing economies. There is also a very strong ex-colonial European background which is very similar. But if we go to Europe, we don’t have any connection. I go there and I really can‘t see myself there.
“But if I come to Buenos Aires, I can see the problems in South Africa really clearly. And I also see things in South Africa that show me clearly what is not working in Argentina. But I don’t see that at all in Europe because there isn’t any connection.”
Inspired by those similarities, Pienaar is also working on a new magazine project which will be trilingual: in Spanish, English and Portuguese, giving the bilingual Correspondencia edited by Juan Ignacio Moralejo (and also featured in Wallpaper* but in the top-20 reasons to be in Argentina section) a run for its money.
“As we want to see this southern hemisphere connection more, and see if we can’t bolden that, we are starting a magazine about that too, called Paris Fading Like a Childhood Memory, looking at trends in the Southern Hemisphere. I haven’t been this excited about a project for a long time,” he says.
Perhaps the rest of the world should be looking south. Victoria Ocampo founded a literary magazine entitled Sur in 1931, after all. And perhaps the rest of the world should sit up and start taking note of the south.
“We are so used to being looked down upon by the north. The other day I was reading some articles about Argentina and South Africa in The Monocle. And they got it so wrong and it was so ignorant that I thought ‘just don’t write about that, we’ll do our own stuff.’”

Published in the Buenos Aires Herald on November 4, 2011
Photo courtesy of Mariano Fuchila

What is your first memory of being in Argentina?
Getting lost in the supposedly easy grid system of the streets of Buenos Aires, and stumbling across what must have been Bosques de Palermo. Then I remember laughing out loud at the comical sight of the dog walkers armed with their hundreds on dogs all divided by size.

Why did you end up staying?
Like most expats in Buenos Aires, I was only supposed to stay for six months and I just couldn’t bring myself to leave. So I extended my flight by a couple of months and then a few more — I am so glad I did, otherwise my company, Au Pair in Argentina, would have never existed and I wouldn’t have met all the fabulous people or experienced all the wonderful things I have.

What was that time like?
Exciting, energetic and filled with a “can do” attitude I had never come across before. That said inflation was starting to get crazy, Buenos Aires was getting pricey and crime was definitely on the rise.

What exactly kept you after those six months?
My love for Buenos Aires, the food, the climate, the friends I had made and I felt there was still so much more to explore and experience. I wanted to really get to know the city and not feel like so much of an expat.
Also coming up with the idea for Au Pair in Argentina and wanting to see it through. I felt excited by the prospect of creating my own project and that it could actually work. Oh, and I wasn’t ready to give up my daily medialuna just yet!

You travel back and forth between the UK and Argentina. What changes do you notice?
Sadly the impact of inflation, the heightened cost of living and the rise in crime are noticeable each time I return to BA. Having said that, Buenos Aires does seem to have grown and developed each time I come back, with new cool coffee shops, hotels, bars and businesses popping up everywhere. And luckily some things don’t change, like the warm nature of the people and the insane boy-racer taxi drivers!

How has it been setting up a business?
Exciting yet infuriating. The challenge has been amazing, I have learned so much and I have never enjoyed work as much as I do now. Had I not come to live in Buenos Aires, I would have never thought it possible to set up on my own, so I definitely have Argentina to thank for that.
However, the legal bureaucracy makes things almost impossible and sometimes the Argentine eager-to-please attitude is not helpful. You just want to say “please stop telling me what you think I want to hear and tell me the truth!”

How do Argentine families respond to the au-pair concept?
At first, a little reluctantly. They weren’t really sure what the concept was and sometimes this led to a few problems. We had some families just see an au pair as an extension of their staff so we had to gently remind them that the role is more like a big sister and part of the family, than another maid. To their credit all of them adapted and went on to have great relationships with their au pairs. Another problem we encountered was seeing an as a trophy, a “look at me I am so cultured” badge. We had one paraded around the school playground (she quite liked this), however another poor girl was rejected as she “didn’t look English enough,” whatever that means! Don’t worry, we found her another family who adored her and she adored back and she au paired with them for over a year.
That experience definitely made me quite shocked at just how superficial people can be, and from that moment I vowed only to work with families I would like to work for and I feel proud that all our clients are kind, interesting and cultured people.
I would say now, though, we have ironed out the teething problems and Argentine families seem excited and open to having an au pair and seem grateful that there is a service that allows their children to learn Spanish in a fun and cheap way!

What is the biggest reward you see from that experience?
Seeing the change in the Argentine attitude to au pairs from being dubious to intrigued and excited. Hearing from the families about how happy they are with their and how they can’t believe how much their children suddenly love learning English. Hearing from the au pairs about how it has made their stay in Argentina special, more real, how they now speak Spanish confidently, how they are still in touch with the families and how it was an experience they will remember forever.

Did you already know Spanish when you came to Argentina?
Yes, I knew some as I was an au pair in Madrid as an 18-year-old and so got the basics then.

Where do you live and why?
Las Cañitas. Some say souless, I say central, safe and close to the park. When I’m not in Buenos Aires, I live in London or Spain as that is where my work takes me.

What do you miss about Argentina when you’re in the UK?
My friends, the weather, asados, my morning medialuna and malbec.

And vice versa?
Spice, good cheese (Cheddar in particular) and music from this era that’s not reggaéton. And my friends and family mainly which is why I now live between the two.

Do you consider yourself to be an expat?
Now I do, yes, but there was a point when I didn’t. Having said that, BA definitely feels like home.

What is your most Argentine characteristic?
I am no longer a planner — that, and adding “no” onto the end of every sentence, even in English.

Name a lost-in-translation moment.
It was more of an awkward language moment.
Having recently learned that shell was an inappropriate word in Argentine Spanish, I was then faced with the challenge of explaining to the class I was teaching English what a snail had on its back. After a few failed Pictionary attempts I went bright red and finally said the dreaded words — the reaction, a room full of laughter. Needless to say, they all now know the word “shell” in English.

What’s been the hardest trámite?
Getting legal… there has been so much paperwork and so many hoops to jump through.

Where have you travelled to?
Bariloche, Salta, Puerto Madryn, Iguzú, Isteros de Ibera, Calafate, Pampas, Mar del Plata… lots of places. I just love Argentina and the slightly off-the-beaten-track places blow your mind as much as the must see sights.

What does a weekend entail?
In Argentina — brunch with friends, a walk in the park, in the summer going out to Tigre on my friend’s boat, and an asado on Sunday, of course! Oh, and the odd ridiculously late night. How does it happen in BA that it’s suddenly 6am and you are still out? In London, dinner with friends, drinks in the pub, terrible Saturday night telly and a Sunday roast!

Name a crazy taxi driver story.
I took a taxi one night, or morning rather, that called himself a disco taxi and in hindsight I should not have gotten in. It had blacked-out windows, UV lights and was kitted out with a disco ball and speakers that could make a giant deaf. He was pumping out some amazing 80s and 90s classics so I just couldn’t resist!

Published in the Buenos Aires Herald in October 2011

So what must a new kid in town think, when they can’t find that essential herb or spice for a curry, or a certain brand because it might have been subjected to this week’s impetuous import ban by Domestic Trade Secretary Guillermo Moreno? Furthermore, what if you’re a chef, flown into Argentina to cook for a private client for several days, and can’t whip up your regular signature gourmet dishes simply because you can’t get hold of the ingredients?

That is exactly what has happened to English chef Ian Wood (see photo) this past week. Fresh into Buenos Aires last Monday from the south of France where he has been catering on a yacht, Wood, who cut his teeth at the Bath Priory Hotel, Berkshire’s Cleveland House Hotel and latterly at The Ledbury in London’s Notting Hill (ranked number 34 on S. Pellegrino’s top-50-restaurants-in-the-world list) has had to face up to a new problem: getting hold of the goods he needs for work.

“Although I really didn’t know what to expect, what I could find here, or what I was going to cook, I’ve been so surprised that I can’t find any fresh fish,” he says. “With a coast this long, you can’t get fish in the capital city? That’s quite surprising. And that’s a problem because that means 30 percent of my repertoire has gone.” Visiting South America for the first time, it isn‘t so far out for the chef to think that residents of a country with such a vast coastline which measures precisely 4,989km would be deshelling prawns or or picking fish bones from their teeth every day.

What was he hoping for? “I was expecting a lot of wonderful things I’ve heard of, which may be from further north in South America. But I thought there would be an abundance of shellfish, all fresh and great. And I was also hoping for snapper. The only fish I have found in Buenos Aires is white salmon, but I have no idea what that is! However, I think my biggest gripe is that it seems all the shellfish has been already cooked, then chilled down and frozen, and then it is defrosted when it is sold again.”

Talking about shopping at various supermarkets in Palermo the past few days, Wood says: “I don’t want to talk ill of a country that’s hosting me, but it’s also been unusual that you can’t get anything from outside of Argentina. I’ve researched the different immigrant populations which have come and made Buenos Aires and Argentina, the Spanish, the Italians, and I expected a bit more local input.

“Take England. It’s a complete melting pot as we take anything that’s good and make it our own.”
Other products Wood has noticed very quickly that are lacking are fruit and vegetables. “I was also surprised I couldn’t get passion fruit today. And there are certain spices too. But I did bring in my own vanilla, porcini mushrooms and truffles…”

Classically trained in French techniques, the chef has been thrilled with the rib-eye cuts, and says Argentine beef does make it to the UK, although it is pricey. If he were in London, would he buy British or Argentine beef? Taking the protectionist stance the Argentine government has been showing for much of this year, he say: “British. The idea of trying to support your own nation and its food interests is interesting.”

Given that he is catering to the tastes of his hosts, Wood says he is more limited than he has been in the south of France. But what signature dish would he have liked to wow them with? Without pausing for breath, he replies: “Ceviche. I really wanted to that seeing as we are in South America. But I haven’t found anything fresh enough that I trust to do it.”

Despite not finding a fishmonger, have there been any positive surprises? “I found an amazing place that makes fresh pasta yesterday. It was tiny little shopfront and incidentally, when I asked, he didn’t have anything. But he did say ‘come back in half-an-hour, we’ll have some.’ You don’t get any fresher than that! I bought some egg parpadelle, and it was so nice, I haven’t seen anything like that in Europe. The pasta was incredible and I used my smuggled porcini mushrooms and truffles to go with it. ”

Published in the Buenos Aires Herald on November 27, 2011
Photo courtesy of María Alegre.